The Day my life changed forever.
The story of my life changing event; the most profound thing I have ever
experienced. I leave this behind for anyone to read and make use of if
they desire.
I was raised hard shell southern baptist and believed the world to be black
and white and in a sense; that allowed order and a certain rigidity to my
opinions; even long after I turned away from organized religion and moved
toward a more personal relationship with my Creator. Then; a bizarre set
of occurrences entered my world; seemingly by mistake; yet, I was to find
that there are no cosmic coincidences; rather, just a reality that exists
whether I choose to believe them or not.
So; as a Licensed Professional Counselor; I like most I know; wait until the
last moment to get your required CEUs for license renewal and I found
myself running out of time and requiring a boat load of CEUS which I had
no way of getting. Desperately looking; I ran across an ad in the back of
some magazine that offered close to 40 hours for a full week of CEUS at a
place called OMEGA in Austin; a spa which Mimi could enjoy and I could
get my CEUs. I didn’t even look at the title other than to note something
about regression therapy; so I was all about it and off we went.
The place was beautiful and our room comfortable and I immediately had
to go to the introductory session. Bear in mind; I had never heard of Brian
Weiss before; however, he has so many accolades behind his name that I
can’t spell the acronyms. He presents his seminars with his wife Carole
and this is what occurred: I always sit in the back of seminar rooms so
that I can watch other people; listen without interruption and focus. So I
sat behind about three hundred people which I felt was quite the large
crowd.
The first thing to occur was his introduction which was explaining “past life
regression” which put me ill at ease in my black and white world. Then, in
what I mistakenly perceived to be a “time filler” Dr.Weiss began going
down the front row to have everyone introduce themselves. The first
person was a Canadian Psychiatrist and I immediately thought; well, we
can hang with this guy as he was in a similar line of work to ours. The next
person; raised my eyebrows; “I’m an angel therapist”. The next was no
relief,”I’m a reiki master.” There were people from all over the world there
that could speak no english and had interpreters with them and I was
highly uncomfortable with these “unusual” individuals who were things
The Day my life changed forever.
that I had never heard of before and would have dismissed in a heartbeat.
It came my turn and I was honest and said “I’m just here for the CEUS.”
Uncomfortable; I went to our room and told MIMI that we needed to leave
as this was a bunch of foolishness; to which she reminded me “You need
the CEUS; you’ve already paid for it, and I am happy and have already
scheduled spa stuff; so suck it up and get on with it. I reluctantly agreed
and went back to the massive hall for the second session. Dr.Weiss led the
first session and expected absolutely nothing; then it hit the fan. Just as
surely as I am writing this down; I found myself in an ancient village with
thatched roof huts, winding stone paths, geese and was dressed in fur
top. I was about 10 to 12 years old and recognized my name when called
as “Joar”. As I was going down a path around the corner of a hut; I heard
a booming voice calling “Joar”. I waited until I heard it again and then
went to who was apparently my father, who was, for the village, the
blacksmith and in charge of sharpening swords and axes. It was at this
point that I recognized that this was a Viking village. Bearing in mind that I
knew little about Vikings and had previously believed and had been told
that I had Native American genetics. Turns out; I am 99 percent Norse by
genealogy but that is another story.
Next scene in my mind was of my father and I in a long boat headed to
plunder some french or english coastal village. I was about 17 and my
father was standing behind me. I knew what every piece of equipment
was for although in real life; had never seen any of it before. I spoke to my
father and said “I don’t know what to do.” He replied; “you will know
when you get there.” The next scene was of my father and I; back in our
own village where my father was laid out on a slab of marble or granite
and was dying from a sword wound to the side. I was kneeling by his side
as he died.
Next scene; I was around 27 or so and had been in battle and was now
laying on the stone where he had laid. A question came into my head:
“What have you learned” and I responded “We haven’t learned anything;
we are still living a life of violence and repeating this behavior over and
over.” I then came out of this mental state and had now been exposed to
past life regression and I do not exaggerate when I say my mind was
altered from black and white to a foreign state that simply had no rational
explanation. Dr. Weiss stated at this point that it was break time and that
he and Carole like everyone else needed a little time to themselves and
that if folks wouldn’t mind, to give them space and he promised by the end
The Day my life changed forever.
of the week that he would answer any questions. I immediately went
back to our room and Mimi will testify; I was grey in color.. Everything I
had ever thought had been altered in a fashion that I could not deny and I
had no clue what to do with it. Mimi says I was pale and damn near
unresponsive. I went back to the hall and immediately had another
session where I scrolled through a thousand lifetimes much like the end of
a reel of an old movie that shows individual clips every half second. In one
of these; I was a single cell creature crawling up a piece of kelp toward the
surface and toward the light. I placed my flagella above the water when I
got there and somehow knew that this was an important moment in
evolution. No clue as to why or any reason other than that is what I
experienced. For a half a day spent; life was turned upside down and I
couldn’t get away from it.
We ate lunch with the Canadian Psychiatrist who had had no experience at
all and listened to what I was describing with interest. Then back to the
hall. At break time; I just walked around the outside of the building; not
wishing to be around anyone and simply trying to process what was
bouncing around inside my head. I remembered that I had seen a coffee
pot on a patio around the back of this huge hall and thought “I’ll just get a
cup of coffee.” So, I opened the back door and stumbled in on Dr. Weiss
and Carole, taking their break. I immediately apologized and started
backing out the door; to which Carole said “come over here”. I stated that
having given seminars many times; I understood the need for a little
isolation and time to oneself and again tried to leave. She stated again”
come over here” Dr. Weiss then stated please sit down with us for a
minute. I reluctantly agreed and I guess they were interested in what was
happening to the only person there who had just shown up for CEUs. i
told them what I had experienced and the condition it had left me in to
which they stated that I was obviously a very old soul and we had a fairly
lengthy discussion.
Dr. Weiss asked if there was anything he could do for me and I felt an
immediate bond with he and Carole. I stated that it was going to take me
time to process this but that our friend the Canadian Psychiatrist was not
getting anything and that given his type of work; could really benefit from
such exposure and use it for others in identifying growth, how past lives
affect the current and carry over of trauma. After lunch, I was still sitting
in the back and Dr. Weiss called the Psychiatrist up to the stage and I was
highly grateful when he did a one on one demonstration with him. He
The Day my life changed forever.
immediately went into a state of hypnosis. Dr. Weiss asked him to
describe where he was and he very clearly stated that he was with about
10 other young men in a jungle in India; with an old bearded man who was
in a robe and instructing them in how to govern citizens. Dr. Weiss asked
him what he was learning and this guy starts listing of very detailed
material one point after another. About twelve or so paragraphs; very
detailed. I am sitting in the back of the room and had my eyes shut;
appreciating that the psychiatrist was having this experience. In the next
question; the psychiatrist was back in his village in ancient India and was
being coronated as the ruler. Apparently, the old man in the jungle was a
spiritual teacher in charge of preparing young rulers for how to govern.
While I am sitting there listening to the psychiatrist describe his
coronation; all of the sudden I had this flash go off in my mind that was
similar to having a flash picture taken. It was a weird symbol looking like
an insect and I had no clue why it appeared then went away.
At lunch, Mimi and I sat with the Psychiatrist as usual and he was about in
the shape I had been in when all the material hit me. I mentioned to him
about the weird symbol that had flashed in my head while he was being
coronated and he asked me about it. I took out a pen and napkin and
drew it for him. He stared and stated that this image was on every banner
at his coronation. Being in the psychiatric field; we all talk about universal
consciousness but I can attest that I just knew it as a concept and not
from personal experience; now, another person and myself had seen the
same thing at the same time and had no clue what it was.
From that day forward, I carried a drawing of it in my wallet and contacted
history departments from England and any place that had anything to do
with India. I never told anyone where I had seen it; rather, I would just say;
“I saw a picture and I’m pretty sure it’s from ancient India; do you know
what kind of symbol it is?” No one ever knew and I carried it for about five
years; asking anyone who I thought might have a clue.
Fast forward now five years. Having experienced what I had; I no longer
held any judgement toward anyone being anything. If you told me that you
a Master Toad Frog Therapist; I would simply say:” that is great”. Black
and white was gone forever. Mimi and I decided to go on a cruise which
departed Vancouver and just for something to do; I looked up Reiki
Masters in Vancouver with the idea that Mimi and I could do a couple of
sessions of something we hadn’t done before just to say we did it. I found
The Day my life changed forever.
a bio of a lady and called and signed us up. Mimi like always; was up for
anything and off we went.
We got to Vancouver and began looking for the home we were scheduled
at and ended up in this somewhat blighted neighborhood. The house was
shabby and small with weeds growing in the front yard and we were pretty
taken aback. We knocked on the door and this disheveled; somewhat
pitiful looking lady about 45 years old invited us into her plain if not austere
home. We sat on the couch and began talking and it became apparent
very quickly that we were not there for ourselves but for her. Her father; a
Psychiatrist had physically and sexually abused her; she was gay, her
brother and entire family had disowned her; on and on and on. Her life
was a disaster. Mimi and I went to lunch and agreed that Reiki wasn’t
going to occur although we did do some cursory session that did nothing;
but we remarked on how nice it was. We heard her life story and gave her
as much advice as she could handle since we had resolved to help her if
we could. She seemed to brighten up and was inviting of any help offered.
Life had just handed her a rough set of cards and she was just trying to
exist. We paid her double her fee and as we were about to leave; I asked
if she knew of any good coffee shop around. She kind of looked down
and said: “”there is one; but you might not like it.” Inquiring further, she
stated that it was an Indian coffee shop with a shrine in it and primarily
used by gay people.” and that there was this guru want to be who was
always at the shrine hitting on people with sexual intent. We told her that
didn’t bother us and set off for the place.
Upon getting there; the first thing I did was take my drawing out of my
wallet and inquire if anyone there had ever seen anything like it. No
success. We ordered a ginger cookie and some coffee and watched the
folks come and go. It was a remarkable cookie. I asked the counter
person who made the cookies and he stated that they were next door in
the Indian Bookstore attached to the coffee shop; so, we took the chance
that I could talk him out of his recipe. I found him and told him I would
swap him a superb chicken recipe for his ginger cookie recipe and we
swapped recipes. Mimi found a fellow about 6 foot three, long grey hair,
extremely thin and very peaceful looking and was discussing the Hindu
religion and he was explaining that almost every sect had similar but
different beliefs and even different deities. I had no clue; nor did she, that
her conversation with him was integral in what was to happen next. I
found a singing bowl and she found some text and we went to the counter
The Day my life changed forever.
where the fellow was waiting for us. He asked:”Did you find what you
were looking for.” To which I flippantly said “actually I found everything
except what I was looking for.” He inquired “what is it?” I told him about
the drawing and my search and he stated.” Well, I am an ancient India
symbologist by trade; let me see the drawing.” I took it out and he
immediately knew what it was. Instead of an insect; it was a formation of
ashes that this tiny sect/village would smear on their foreheads as their
religious symbol back eons ago and was only used by them. So now; not
only had I had my life altered by past life regression; I had experienced
undeniable universal consciousness; led to an Indian Symbolist by a
terribly wounded lady who was probably the only one in the world who
could have inadvertently led us to our destination. Mimi and I were both
blown away and that is a gross understatement.
Since that day; we have become friends with Dr. Weiss and Carole and
communicate with them. When I received my terminal diagnosis I wrote
him a note thanking him for opening my eyes and being friends to Linda
and I. He took time from his schedule to call two or three times and
discuss and answer any questions I might have and to give insight into his
experience and how it all plays out. I can say that if we had never met he
and Carole; I would have entered this phase of existence and exit, with
trepidation and some fear. While I am somewhat saddened by it all; I can
say without a doubt that I fully understand it and have no fear at all. Time
is relative and we form soul groups that move with us from lifetime to
lifetime. I might be your brother in this one or your mother in the next; or a
close friend that was with me in the previous existence. The entire goal is
to evolve, not repeat mistakes and grow to being a better person. At some
juncture, you get to chose whether or not to come back or not; having
reached a point of knowing what you need to know and doing what you
have needed to do: spiritual enlightenment I guess you could say, without
pretense and definitely without judgement. You accept that each
individual is on their own path; is at their own stage of evolution and
development and does not need to conform to your expectations; no
disappointments. It is a lot more challenging than I would have ever
thought; but a lot more rewarding as well.
I am sitting here recounting this in hopes that it will do someone; anyone,
some good and to make sure my children know where I was at and where
I will be. I am also in contact every day with an entity called Indra’s net
which requires that I communicate with it and share information about
The Day my life changed forever.
what the human condition entails. You cannot ask it for anything; rather, it
is a store house in the sky that accumulates information. As an offshoot of
this; I have provided Mimi with a set of hand gestures which she can use
to communicate with me between the time I leave and the time that she
arrives back into my soul group as will my family and friends. It is all the
blink of an eyes and as one finds out their mortality; it moves much
quicker; so, the time that she has left will transpire and find us re united
albeit in a different format. It is of immense comfort and all brought about
by being negligent in keeping up with my CEUs; enduring what I perceived
to be craziness; stumbling in on DR Weiss and Carole, being forced by
Mimi to stick it out (something she has always been a force for),
experiencing an undeniable universal consciousness, booking a non
functional Reiki session, asking about a coffee shop and being led to an
Indian symbologist. There are no coincidences; no happenstance; just
signs everywhere for anyone who is open to them. I am grateful to have
had this existence and look forward to shooting up through the universe
and having even more questions answered there before the next time
round. I will see you all again and wish for you to take comfort in it as I do.
As a side note; I used to get irritated at those who seemingly rote would
say “have a blessed day”. I now understand just how blessed my days
have been. One last clarification; If given a choice to come back or not; it
is important to note that we may chose to come back to be involved in
growth and learning for someone else; if not yourself.
Love to all; Scruffy August 19, 2023
I must note here that I owe MiMi; Dr. Weiss and Carole an eternal debt for Mimi’s tenacity throughout my wandering and varied existence and Dr. Weiss and Carole for their interest in someone who late in life; completely by surprise, found out how clueless he was.